random thoughts

i've been unnecessarily cranky with my bf lately and i don't know why. well, i do know why... it's just that i feel like i should be more of the center of attention in his life. memememe. barf. i hate myself for even doing it, but i can't help feeling that way... why doesn't he send me flowers, write me love songs, find little creative ways to say "i love you," tell me that i look nice in some context other than during or right after we've had sex... DUH! because he's a guy, and guys only do such things in the ridiculous romantic movies which i grew up watching. he tells me he loves me every single day, at least once, probably more... he holds my hand, hugs me, kisses me, flirts with me, takes me out to dinner, and yet, i feel like he could do more. i can't help thinking that this is me, self-sabotaging my relationship again, for something that no guy will ever be able to give me: self-validation. i love him, and i don't want to mess things up because of this stupid voice which lingers in the back of my head whispering doubts. he's not romantic... he's told me as much, straight to my face... so i need to get over it! we went to see shakespeare on the common last night, and one of the lines in hamlet is "more matter, less art." well, if there's more matter and less art in my relationship why the hell am i complaining? grrr. i drive myself insane sometimes.
speaking of being driven to insanity, 20 marines have died in the past three days in iraq. now president bush's camp sends an ambassador over there to start talking about exit strategies for 2006... in 2004 when kerry talked about exit strategies he was called a wimp and unpatriotic. huh?! not that i don't want the troops to come home, because i do, but it's more proof that they should have never been over there in the first place! the bush administration thought this would be a home run and instead we are still stuck in the inning with no outs. no plan for getting out without leaving the place in a much bigger mess than it was before we got there, either. the terrorists are very happy about this, i'm sure.
the good news is that people are starting to get a clue about what a mess we are in right now. paul hackett ran an incredibly close race in ohio for a congressional district which has been a GOP stronghold since the ice age. it gives me hope that honesty may actually pay in elections. and that hopefully americans will fully come to realize just how dishonest bush and friends have been, despite his claims to the contrary.
and, speaking of ice age, the bf and i saw a preview for Ice Age 2 when we went to see charlie & the chocolate factory. c&c factory (ooh! everybody dance now-- oops, sorry, wrong c&c) was just plain awful in my opinion, minus charlie's grandparents who were awesome. but anyway, i am quite excited for Ice Age 2. the first Ice Age was frickin brilliant. it's funny and family oriented but also a bit irreverent and not too cheesy. if you haven't seen it yet i highly reccommend it, and i can't wait for the sequel.